Lets Talk: Morning 10:31

 September 7 at 10:31am

I went to sleep last night around 1:30am. Why did I do that to myself, I ask? Because I love to talk story. Anyone who knows me well, know that I can go on for a long time when I'm stimulated. I enjoy the deepening experience with another person; I learn a lot from their experiences, journey, and perspective. Learning about people and listening to them are forms of love to me. It takes patience, understanding, and an open mind and heart to sit still and listen without judgment or reactions. Then, when it's my turn to respond, I get to explore their ideas further, or question and challenge (with good intentions), refine or modify my own beliefs and values. I experience what the educational psychology world call, "participatory appropriation." When you are engaging in an activity and you are changed by it. The key word here is to "become" rather than "acquisition." 

Look at me, applying Week 1's reading from class. Ha ha! Maybe this is how I can practice articulating my knowledge in my own field. 

While waking up this morning, I reminded myself to not break my weeknight routine because I'll feel sh*tty the next day. Only on weekends and nights where I can lounge the next day. Then again, who doesn't love deep, spontaneous, nighttime conversations? 

On another side note, I feel strangely relaxed for Week 3. Perhaps it's because the semester hasn't picked up yet, or maybe I'm going with the flow and being gentle with myself for the first time. Thank you, therapy (What does "being gentle" with myself mean? Hmm, that's a good question that I'd like to ruminate on. I'll get back to this one). I used to feel rushed to finish writing and researching, or to always have to work and study. Now, I do them less. That doesn't sound right, does it? Ha ha! Or could it be that I've adapted to academia and work that I feel more grounded it in? I'll have to explore this newfound feeling. 

No, I think I got it. When I say, "I do them less," I probably meant, "I do less of stressing out and worrying, and feeling rushed" because I know that my "Watchdog" and "Taskmaster" traits are watching over me. I've learned to accept these "negative" emotions and that has allowed me to relinquish them and ultimately, befriend them. They've taken on different meanings that are serving me better. 

For example: Stress is "off-balanced"; worried is "concerned" or "care for"; rushed is "I got this sh*t" and "Let's gooooo"

Off to find some work to do...even though I have a lot. Hm...I'm procrastinating, aren't I? Maybe that's it, and I'm not admitting it. 

Well, I'm happy and that's all it matters. LOL.

Good day, friends.

Hope you find happiness in procrastination, too. 

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