Let's Talk: Afternoon 3:42pm

 October 25 at 3:42pm

I have a class in roughly 30 minutes, and glad that it's online. This is my Psychometrics course; I still don't understand precisely what that means and need someone to explain it in simpler terms. Or, I could be a big girl and do my own search. I'm just not interested in it, even though I know it's important and meaningful work. In fact, I bet that I'd enjoy it if I wasn't so triggered by numbers. 

Today was an unproductive day. I am not motivated, and maybe it's because I'm not getting enough nutrients, so I feel lethargic. But, mostly, it's my brain. It doesn't want to think or do anything but sit and watch TV or web browse. It just wants to do less demanding tasks. How can I combat this to finish my research and projects by next week? 

I also completed my interview yesterday for a job promotion. If I get it, I'm going back to therapy. I've enjoyed writing on here because no one knows about it (yet), and so far, it's been in my own voice. I haven't filtered it or fixed any part of it. However, I also need to receive some wisdom. I was also wondering if I should find a new one or return to my first one? I really liked her, but I think now I want someone with a more similar background to me instead of just being female and a BIPOC. 

Another thought is that I miss having kindred spirits. I used to have a lot in my 20s during my travels. I've learned to not quantify good friendship with the time we've known each other or how often we've hung out. Instead, I've felt safe, inspired, enlightened, and at peace with them. Those types of individuals are harder to come by, the ones who can talk with you for hours and into the night on the side of the road over a drink and good food.

I need to find more people like that to feel more connected. I'm not sure if "connected" is the right word. I'd like to meet people with whom I can be raw and authentic with, who will listen and share without any expectations or judgment. It's the deep conversation and connections that I miss.

Where ever y'all are, I'm just across the ocean.

Aloha~

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