Hmmm...

September 28 at 9:43am I am feeling off-balanced right now. My sleeping schedule has been off the past few days, I've been breaking out like I'm back in high school, and unable to get out of bed at my usual time. When I look at some of the PhD memes, I can relate even though I try to resist them. Before committing to this journey, I told myself that it would be, feel, and look different than my Master's. So far, I've kept that promise to myself. However, the past two weeks have been scattered and now, I feel like I need to lay on the grass, look up at the sky and trees, and just process everything before I can gently move on. I plan to do that this weekend for myself. I am also learning how to ask for positive needs, like, "One thing that would help me feel supported is..." with my advisors and mentors.  One of my beloved cats, Glaze also unexpectedly and quietly passed away yesterday. He found a small nook beneath the staircase right next to mine. Did you kno...

September 16 at 6:56pm  Happy Aloha Friday, friends. It was a semi-productive day in regardless to work and school, but it was productive for my personal and spiritual well-being. I won't get into details because I'm pretty weak and tired from barely doing anything today. Instead, here's a list: 1. Tried Cafe Latte at Starbucks for the first time (I rarely go here and I don't drink coffee). 2. The cashier, Ray, who's been in Hawai'i for over 20 years treated my coworker and I when I tried to pay. That's good karma! Next time, I will leave a generous tip. I believe that what you put out there, you will eventually receive. Ray, I hope you receive abundance in wealth, good health, and joy. You made our entire week, month, year. It means a lot more to us than you probably know. Because the Starbucks is on campus, they're always busy and Ray was simply a Ray of Sunshine. He exuded calmness, kindness, and pure joy. I learned a lot just from our 5 minutes inter...

 September 7 at 10:31am I went to sleep last night around 1:30am. Why did I do that to myself, I ask? Because I love to talk story. Anyone who knows me well, know that I can go on for a long time when I'm stimulated. I enjoy the deepening experience with another person; I learn a lot from their experiences, journey, and perspective. Learning about people and listening to them are forms of love to me. It takes patience, understanding, and an open mind and heart to sit still and listen without judgment or reactions. Then, when it's my turn to respond, I get to explore their ideas further, or question and challenge (with good intentions), refine or modify my own beliefs and values. I experience what the educational psychology world call, "participatory appropriation." When you are engaging in an activity and you are changed by it. The key word here is to "become" rather than "acquisition."  Look at me, applying Week 1's reading from class. Ha ha! ...

 September 4 at 5:06pm It is beautiful outside. It truly looks like a postcard of paradise; the sky is blue, not a cloud in the sky makai (ocean) side, only towards mauka (mountains).  It's hot, but breezy, and it feels like one of those days where everything is sweet, delicate, and refreshing. Yet, I'm inside after spending the morning and afternoon outside.  After a conversation with a fellow classmate about my progress in our program, I felt an inclination to try and express my thoughts on verbal class participation. There are many parts and different sides to this story, but in the end, we just need more evidence-based (and perhaps longitudinal) research on such a broad topic with many variables. To start off, I hate in-class verbal participation and I know that based on the research and professional experience in the classroom setting, it does NOT work for everyone. I know, common knowledge, right? So how come psychology professors are adamant about group work (or wh...

September 2 at 8:55am We're going to dance today and this weekend. Yes, because it's Labor Day Weekend and because I'm slightly ahead with one of my classes. I can hardly believe that, but it's true. One of my friends asked me how I was doing mentally, emotionally, spiritually via text. I think my response was that I felt safe and at peace currently. However, I'm also aware that these positive feelings can take another shape, form, or direction at any moment and that's okay. What's not okay is how I might emotionally react to that change, which is something that I'm consciously unlearning. Staying aware of my reactions, accepting them, but also, understanding that there is a balance of positive and negative. I can't always be on a high, nor always on a low. I just need to be. Does this make sense? This morning's goal is to take notes on my psychometrics class from an audio-less recording *face palm*. My professor forgot to unmute herself; I just ...

August 31 at 10:13pm I'm going to talk to you the way that I'm talking to myself internally. That means, there will be incomplete thoughts (aka incomplete sentences) [and a whole lot of jumping around]. It will also mean that this is actually the way that I talk. and think. There will also be a lot of pauses. One of my goals for tonight was to finish an article by 10:30pm, my bedtime during the weekday. It's 10:15pm HST. This is one of those articles where your professor claims that she tried her best to limit to 2 (research) articles per week, and each one pertains roughly 25-40 pages long. And, we have to respond to them. So, I've come up with common phrases such as: "One thing that stood out to me was..." or "I'm curious to know more about..." and "I'd like to build on...."  Am I genuine with those responses? Sometimes, yes. Other times, no. Most of the time, I just need to get it done. However, I do enjoy some of the readings th...